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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 1:03 pm    Post subject: Chuck Norris Facts Reply with quote

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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zuke
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

uh-oh,

We're a day late, Chuck's birthday was yesterday!

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just doesn't have the courage to let him know.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 10:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Da Beest wrote:
Laughing
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just doesn't have the courage to let him know.


Very Happy

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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 7:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Freddie Krueger has trouble sleeping because of Chuck Norris.
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 2:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a frigging Indian.

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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris does not get morning wood, He gets morning 2 by 4.
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 5:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck norris once gave a horse an upper cut, its now known as the giraffe.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

When Chuck Norris says "You want fries with that" it's not a question, it's a command.


BrokeBack Mountain is what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead Ninjas in his backyard.

Babies cry at birth because they know they've just been brought into a world with Chuck Norris. Doctors spank them to give an idea of what's to come.

Jesus Christ was actually born in the summer, but Chuck Norris sent him a birthday card on December 25th. Jesus was too scared to correct him.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based off of a true story. Chuck Norris once ate a live turtle and when he pooped it out the next day the turtle was six feet tall and knew karate.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad

If Chuck Norris is running late, time better slow the eff down.

A solar eclipse - The sun's attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.




-- some of the best i have heard

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
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