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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 3:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
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Harold
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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris once told Hillary Clinton to shut up. She did.
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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 5:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 2:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2011 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2011 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris has to have a concealed weapons permit to put his hands in his pockets
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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Tue May 03, 2011 5:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
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hd4tools
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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2011 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris was originally cast as Jack Bauer in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
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Da Beest
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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 5:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After a full investagation, it was proven without a doubt that it was Chuck Norris that killed Osama bin Laden. America's real secret weapon.
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